25 Years

25 years ago things were supposed to go differently. Was it my fault they didn't? I ask myself that question often. What if I had paid closer attention to what was happening. What if I had been more aggressive. What if....

Instead of living the life I have always dreamed of, I feel like I'm living in a bad Sci-fi series. One that was good maybe the first 4 seasons, but now the writers have run out of good ideas. Too many flashbacks. Too many plot twists. Unbelievable story lines. With no good way to end it, they simply pretend it was all a dream. Didn't really happen.

Did it really happen? Am I lying to myself? Have I lost faith? I don't even know how I feel any more. I still love him more than ever. I'm mad and sad. I'm hurt and trying not to be scared.

I ask myself why with everything going on right now wouldn't he want to make sure that I'm ok.